America, I love you, but you’ve gotta get your isht together.

Every time there’s a mass shooting in America, we add a year to the time we’re going to stay in Spain. I say that only half jokingly.

For the past week we’ve been dealing with issues with our electricity. It’s not just our house – our entire valley has been going dark randomly. And it’s not that it shuts off and stays off. Oh no, that would make way too much sense. It flashes on and off. Then shuts off for five minutes. Then comes back on for two minutes. Then off for eight minutes. On for twelve. There is no method to it at all. Hubby thought maybe they were testing lines or something. Because that would totally make sense.

Anyway, the point is, we were annoyed because we had just sat down to watch Murder, She Wrote, and dammit, I wanted to know who killed the woman and stole the painting. It just kept flashing, on and off, and each time the router would have to reset. So we had Amish Night where we played cards, and read by flashlight instead.

I was in the bathroom washing my face (lit by candles) feeling really annoyed at Spain. Why can’t this country get itself together, I wondered? For the past week they have been flashing our electricity on and off. This is what happens in, like, Siberia or something. What the hell is wrong with this country?

Then hubby came into the bathroom with his cell phone, and showed me the screen. Another mass shooting in America, this time in San Jose, our turf. I know San Jose. I sighed, because what else can you do? Nothing’s going to happen to stop it. There will be more thoughts and prayers, and people will talk about doing something to help with mental health, or assault rifles, and nothing will happen. And then there will be another shooting, and another.

And we looked at each other across the candlelight, and thought about our babygirl and how safe we are here, and the high quality of life we have, and we both said something like, “well, weird electricity is a small price to pay for being safe and happy.”

Watching America from afar, I can confidently say that the country has lost its mind. Oh, I still love it, and I grieve watching it fall apart. There is nowhere in the world as amazing and awesome as America. And, because America is a land of extremes, there is also nowhere as loco. I love you, America. You’re manic, and depressive, and filled with opportunities that will never exist anywhere else, and also filled with problems that will never exist anywhere else, and living with you is like being on a wild roller coaster.

Life in Spain is just chill. Just. Chill. Tapas. Cafe con leche. No great opportunities seem to have existed here since the 16th century. Also, they don’t do active shooter drills in schools.

Tradeoffs.