The Anxiety Toolkit: Jason Mraz and road trips

I’ve been struggling with a lot of anxiety the past week or so. I think it was triggered by the assault on the capitol, and then was amplified by the exponential rise in cases, which were clearly pointing to new lockdowns. I don’t actually mind the lockdowns that much once they’ve been announced. I work remotely, my child is pretty easy most of the time, and we have tons of outdoor space. Lockdowns aren’t a big thing for us. But it’s just the stress of watching the numbers go up, and wondering what’s going to happen. Same thing with the inauguration. I am feeling a lot of stress wondering what is going to happen.

I get that it doesn’t affect me personally, and there’s nothing I can really do to change it, other than making sure I’m happy in my own life, and throwing kindness and love around like glitter. But it’s still really difficult, and I’m sure I’m not the only one experiencing it.

I make sure that I exercise each day, and try to meditate even just for 5 minutes a day, and that is the minimum self care I need in order to stay on top of my anxiety – in normal times. Right now, I really need to be doing more. And I haven’t kept up with it. So I was getting to the point where I was experiencing all my classic panic attack symptoms (and by this point in my life I know what they are).

On Friday I drove down to the coast to take care of some errands before the lockdown measures were announced, and on that drive I remembered one of the most important tools in my Toolbox of Sanity – the long drive with music blasting.

I started with Hamilton, but that was even a bit too anxiety-laced for my state of mind. So I switched over to Jason Mraz, who has the same effect on me as any antidepressant. And as soon as I got out of Ronda, and was on the mountain roads, looking out at the Mediterranean sparkling, and glimpses of the mountains of Morocco on the other side, as I twisted and turned the 25 miles down to Marbella, I felt all of the anxiety start to float away. By the time I was in Puerto Banus, life was back to being good, and I was centered.

I’ve always been a fan of road trips. When I was a teenager I drove from Pennsylvania to California. Just because I could. My dad and I took a cross country daddy-daughter trip in 2003. I’ve driven across the US probably 6 or 7 times – I’ve lost count. And those long trips were always a reset on my sanity. Me and Lyle Lovett on a road outside of Amarillo, and he would lead me back to sanity and calm.

I don’t get long solo road trips anymore. And that’s a serious detriment to my mental health. I get itchy feet. I need to be out exploring, with music blasting, the windows down. Feeling like I could just keep driving and wind up in Denmark, and that would be totally okay.

Now that I’ve remembered, I’m instituting a new Self Care Activity in my life – the solo long drives. It might not be a road trip across the country, and now that our municipal borders are closed it will be even shorter, but maybe I can just drive around in circles for an hour each week. Either way, I have remembered again just how much the Solo Road Trip is a necessity to my well being. Having Jason Mraz along for the ride just makes it all the better.